Hello. Is there anybody there?

Well that was easy enough.

Don't get me wrong. I've been playing around on Macs since the word go. Just been a little wary. Don't particularly like sticking my head out of the trees but since I've been making a nuisance of myself on the Guardian CiF for almost three years... I got it coming to me.

First let me introduce myself. It's an anagram and a nickname. Nuff sed. I've had others but won't answer to them.

What do I do? For a living.. absolutely bugger all. I had to retire as a teacher of science because of asthma, [ always, always use a fume cupboard ] Never mind that fact I was lousy at it. Saved Chris Woodhead stringing me up. The pension paid the mortgage and my wife is a saint who hates not working. She hates the job too but ... As we had a second son as a toddler the obvious thing to do was to take over some of the myriad jobs you ladies have to do and the DIY that comes with buying a money pit. That's a story for another day.

Though I became a house husband, back in the early '90's I had a karaoke road show and disco. Stop tittering at the back there. I took it seriously and was rewarded with hearing some of the finest singers in the Black Country. I never took the mickey, I always tried to ' make show ' and ignored the bullet holes in the windows. It was the empty bars that got me. I even had a gig at an old peoples home. That is probably all you need to know about agents.

Being a musician was fun but no money to speak of. Same as trying to get it together as a songwriter. I'll let you judge that later but as my cousin said' You're good but it's tough out there.' We had to give up the band in the early noughties. Every gig we got the place closed down soon after. Even Ronnie Scott's [ Brum branch][ Mind you, having seen the ladies toilets and the price of drinks it wasn't surprising]

So now I write a bit here and there , still not making any money but feeling less useless than I used to. I like writing and I try to keep it snappy and relevant whilst grammatically correct
[ though since everything now has an American spell checker.... I sometimes despair]
One of the reasons I post and surf is that despite being virtually disabled now, communication is still one of things I value more than anything else and I reckon there are a lot of people out there who still like solving the world's problems over a decent conversation. The biggest problem seems to be one's own inability to overcome depression. Been there, done that and I wouldn't wish it even on ...certain politicians. So if you want to take the evening air, sit awhile on an imaginary porch swing, sing an old Carole King number together and light a candle in the gathering night.

Oh... I'm a sucker for punishment so if you want to recommend songs, books , poets or anything, feel free.